Limbo Over!

It has been more than three years since my last post. And boy, how I’ve missed blogging.  Many things have been going on in my life over the past years that I haven’t had the time to blog. 

I will make it up to you by having at least two posts for each month…that’s the minimum. 

Let me update you with my life by saying. I got married this year…and I have been in a relationship, had new work and been happy for the most part that I was too busy. In the coming days, you may find new things on the topics I will be blogging on. Expect food and travel, parenting and married life…or just about anything under the sun. This time it’s not about me.

I can’t wait. Til next post 🙂

 

 

 

New Year!

Every end of each year, most people make promises most of them wont be able to keep. Lucky for me, out of the five things I promised myself last year to change and do, three of them–I was able to fulfill. Generally, 2008 was a good year for me. Since I haven’t finished this blog until now, and having read so much of new years’ resolutions in the newspaper made me realize I can still make and post mine.

New years is one great moment to start all over again. A new start, on a clean slate. This year, I still need to be:

1.) …kind to myself and honor the body I am in. To allow myrself be surrounded with good and positive people. I STILL from time to time eat meat, have booze in consecutive days, get exposed to nicotine (I soo don’t smoke), eat junk foods and sometimes, just sometimes fail to finish 3 liters of water for a day. I still have to try each day to be healthy and to eat healthy. More greens and fruits in my plate; and start having a glass of milk everyday.

2.) … brave enough to do something new or each day to overcome my fears. To learn a new language; to travel whenever there is a chance and means to do so. To be adventurous. Volunteer, be part of the solution and not of the problem.

3.) With number 2, to find something to like, a new song, new hang out place, new food (yum-yum!), book…anything!

4.) …tolerant of people I love, especially my parents who are becoming more sensitive, needy and old. To respect them more and try to allow them to do what they like. If we are considerate with other people; our parents deserve more from us. Let them be the couch commando (TV) for a change. To simply let them be.

5.) Something I learned from Paolo Coelho:

“If you have a past that dissatisfies you, forget it now. Imagine a new story of your life, and believe in it. Concentrate only on those moments in which you achieved what you desired, and this strength will help you to accomplish what you want.” – The Fifth Mountain

5.)…kind to those who aren’t and understand those I can’t tolerate.

6.)…confident enough to know that I may not always make the right decisions but that I am willing to make tough one’s.

7.) Get out of my comfort zone, be the bohemian that I am…believer in good things and that anything is possible…find my niche and try to dominate it.

8.) …always peaceful and not let the negativity of others get the best in me. Make loove not war…make peace, not war.

Happy Holidays!

I have always loved the holidays; it always give me the feeling of peace. The kind that makes me sigh in relief. It’s that time of the year where people are more livelier and friendly. Hopefully, even on the road.

The Christmas season is my favorite time, it never fails to uplift me even if most of my break-ups happened during this season. But that was in the past; even so, the pain doesn’t hurt that much when you are surrounded by family and friends which is always the case in Pinoy style xmases. Imagine at 28 years old ( a few years back in my sad xmases) , as a niece and grand niece of a relative, I have lined up for “aginaldos” together with my much older but single cousins! It was a tradition that was practiced on my Mother’s side of the family. Which is all fun and sort of a reunion.  Subconsciously, maybe that was why most of us don’t get married yet, just imagine the bounty that will be taken from us every year?! hahaha. And it’s all tax free.

It was even at this time when I found out I was pregnant with Ika; in December 18, 2004, to be exact.  And Ika was good news, only difficult under the circumstances at that time. I feel luckier now that I have somebody to give gifts to with so much love and attention. This year my little girl asked for a “Dyosa” wand; and it costs only for 199. pesos. Lucky me, I am able to raise her with the love for things that costs less. Except for time pieces and jewelry, which Charlie taught me to invest on since it is something you can pass on to your children and grand children. It’s something to love about the chinese; they are heaven-awfully frugal, yet generous on special occasions. And whenever the need arises, there will always be something to depend on, financially. So you don’t run around like a headless chicken during emergency times.

Since I am far from Ika, last Wednesday, she attended a christmas party in school. And Santa Clause was there, my Dyosa gift was sent in advance for the event. We were telling her to be good and pray for the Dyosa wand in return. I still doubt if that’s a good thing to tell your kids. But then, I want to instill in her mind that from hard work follows the reward. Last night I called home, and she asked Lola if she could talk to Mama. I cried silently while listening to Ika raving about the gift she got from santa and the dress I bought her at Php700. Wow, at three years old, my girl is such a talker. She was so happy that I was told she slept on her clothes with the crown and earrings on. Oh, I failed to mention that the wand comes with a crown and earrings. I so want to come home, right now.

This year, looking back, I was able to win on a few of my struggles. I was able to fight my few demons. The kind that drains the spirit and weakens the soul. I must say, I am kinder to myself and others. Having a kid made more patient. And sans the Christmas spirit, I was able to reach out to people whom I lost contact with. Made peace with those whom I had misunderstanding with. This year, my theme was bridging the gap. While, there are some hanging still, next year is another year to build bridges and not burn them. If at all, keeping yourself far from other people meant to preserve self from those who meant harm. Besides, getting old means getting wiser. By now, we should know better.

Peace and love is what I wish for you all. Happy Holidays! Cheers!

sex and the city

I know, this blog, is long over due…it’s been almost a month…and yet, I couldn’t get the SATC high off me from the moment I saw it. Yep, I did see the new flick…I bought a DVD of the whole TV series and watched it a year ago. I am really a fan. It’s something the 90’s has invented and changed and challeged the female mantra!

At one point or another in a woman’s life…we were once–Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte and a bit of Samantha (never broken by love, self-assured woman). I am telling you, Samantha is my fave for her witty one liners. I was a bit worried that the movie may fall short of how the “sex and the city” was in the TV. Luckily, every major character was there, especially their men, gay friends, even Magda (Miranda’s nanny to her son) was there. I’d say it was worth every penny to finally see “sex and the city” in the big screen.

I’d say MTRCB did a bad job of cutting off some substantial parts of the movie. The title itself conveys of having adult content, I wonder if there would be anyone in their right mind to bring their kids to watch the movie. It kind of really ruined it… a bit. The movie was more realistic, since the girls were at their 40’s still looking fab, having their act together, living “THe Life”. Such that, Carrie even told her personal assistant Louise, to enjoy life at 20’s, at 30’s you kind of learn from love, life and men, when you hit 40, you get to buy the drinks…but life isn’t any less wonderful and fun.

 

It was so honest, that the words they say and everything that goes with it, kind of hit you right smack to your face—such blunt presentation of the real women’s world in their late 30’s and early 40’s. That even Carrie shared reading glasses with John a.k.a. Mr. Big. Who wouldn’t at 40-something age? Get the picture? It’s not the type of movie that is sugar coated…it’s surreal. Or something you know are happening just in the movies. This is something you can relate to, woman.

At the end of the movie, you get to realize that at 30 to 40 something age…nothing shocks a woman anymore. They are wiser and beyond their age. Idealism about love is gone unlike when you were still in your early to late twenties.  Such that you know, that not all relationship works–no matter how perfect you may be for each other, or that both of you were “it”….and that marriage isn’t at all for every one. That being married doesn’t guarantee forever. At the end of the day, all that matters, is that aside from the Manolo’s you’ll be wearing for the night, you are not afraid to wear your heart on your sleeves. That love still happens if you go looking for it, at whatever point or stage in a woman’s life, in this case, yours…that you can still go to bed, thinking…it’s still a wonderful world…and love? It’s there, just around the corner and coming to you soon…and when you finally find him: will stay forever! Keep the faith!

Boy Crazy! (Wu Zun)

Okay, I admit, I was having a difficulty ACCEPTING the fact that at this time, I have fallen prey to this Goh Kiat Chun a.k.a. Wu Chun fever. BUT believe me when I say I AM NOT A FAN. Really, how can I be a fan when the only acting project he’s done that I have seen was Hana Kimi, the rest – in Chinese, sorry I don’t speak the language. Besides, last time I’ve checked, this Fai Lun Hai band he’s in, sings only chinese songs. I could not understand hokkien or cantonese or mandarin (now they have songs in Japanese since they have released an album in Japan). So no luck for me to appreciate his songs. How about that?

However, in my curiosity about this man, I was led to a series of blogs which were written by his fellow Bruneians, fans, news links and by himself. Though, his blogs at Wretch gives a personal vibe, I can’t really tell if it was really him who’s talking, I mean, I hardly know the guy. If there is anything true at all without a doubt were the pictures posted. I’ve had also a glimpse of his pre-celeb life. I have read several blogs about Chun in his childhood written by those who claim they knew him since they are from Brunei.

Though he came from a well-off family, he has tried to make his own name outside of Brunei. Did a short term modeling stint in Singapore. He’s not a snob or a brat, so that is a plus. Chun seemed to be family oriented, humble beyond words, compassionate, good looking, well built, health buff and career minded. I like it too that he can be at times laid back, playful and funny. Given that, he is not shallow even, what’s NOT to LOVE? He loves to eat, said he is a great cook (used to cook for his girlfriend! Argh! Lucky girl!) He doesn’t like food to be wasted. He runs his own business back home. At that point, I became an ADMIRER, yes, that’s what I am. And I am having a bit of a crush. Beyond his good looks , there seem to be a good person. None of his fellow Bruneians have any thing bad to say about him. There are only kind and good words. Even that of Jan Shim, where awareness of his work as a photographer in Brunei ballooned from the moment fans of Chun started searching for the pictures he took at the opening of Fitness Zone in Kiulap, Brunei (2nd branch. OMG! I am turning into a FAN!). Kudos to him (Jan Shim), because he’s REALLY good at it. Jan did mention of Chun’s generosity to the sick and needy.He is just too damn perfect, that his imperfections almost invisible. I could rave forever about how much there are to like in this guy…really he is quite a catch…and about every woman in Asia is after him. Darn, how could God play favorites? He must have been really good to be blessed this much. Though he lost his mom a few years back, it isn’t something that wouldn’t happen to anyone.

So, I like the guy, the PERSON, sans the glitter of the biz…he glows and shines on his own that I dig him to bits. That doesn’t make me less of who I am. I can’t help it, he is really something to be admired, there are a lot of good about him more than meets the eye. Besides, Chun’s a real hottie, I could be dead or a lesbian not to be crush-ing on him.

It’s the people in the biz who’s riding on his glow and taking advantage of him. Lucky company….But really, this fever is contagious and insatiable! Be prepared to be bitten…believe me, it’s bitter sweet. I should know…

NOTA BENE:

The pictures here are my personal faves…the one in black and white was by JAN SHIM (Shimsworld@wordpress.com). It’s one of Chun’s many passions —eating. Love that tiny mole just above his upper lip. I find it sexy for no reason at all!

love and the city slickers

love…we can’t seem to get enough of it

two nights ago, I met up with my high school friends and new found friends. and guess what was in our agenda for the night? you bet! it’s love/men, what else when the girls are together? most of us were done with college, had gone to graduate school, ventured into a business, changed jobs, been to relationships, changed style, has a new car, etc.etc. all of that for the goal of improving self, to be independent, self sufficient (can rent HER own place, pays for HER own drinks-the likes) and a few blocks away if not city and NEVER continent away to being successful. that is –depending on the degree of realistic goals and personal contentment…(also) in order that, in the pursuit of men, we are so-to-speak—bankable…hence, more favored (who ever said Pinays are all in it JUST FOR THE MONEY? hello? we were not sent to college to be fed by some guy?!)…so, after ten years in high school, after several career changes, M.A.S  and  PhD.S and better incomes (career maturity is not restricted to having bigger paychecks ALONE!)

…we were at a loss..at twenty something age (and I mean most women at our age bracket), we are all (just like the rest of Pinays) smart, fun, spontaneous, educated, career driven, and modesty aside, attractive…are still so going-solo and not a single hot (with substance!) man within arm-stretched radius? have most men became so complacent and have (gasp! heaven-forbid!) became so “macho guapito” who can’t handle independent women?? I mean could Cosmo be so true when they said survey shows most Filipino men ARE insecure??? boys, er, I mean, can the “man” speak for himself?? (explain your side!!!) why have most relationships morphed into so-casual-no-need-to-raise-the-bar-of-their-type-of-“GIRL” for most men? that in the end, they complain of ending up with the wrong person (having dated a shallow minded if not insecure both emotionally and financially lady)—no wonder (good news to lawyers!!!! wink*wink*) annulment cases are so rampant in the courtroom…and yes, it is in OUR local setting.what a sad reality.can men come up with something to save both genders from big-time heartbreaks and empty pockets (annulment cases ranges from Php75k to over Php150k)???..just a thought!

I have no M.A. or Ph.D. in Love and given the experiences I’ve had (very few, can count them in one hand lang nga, o!)…I may not be the ultimate guru when it comes to the subject…but having more than a few chicks sharing the same sentiment…it can be quite disturbing…but then, if in our pursuit of having the Mills and Boons kind of ending, it is so predictable like our local soaps that it is so BORING…well, where’s the fun in that…and heck, me here is just sharing my crazy thoughts…wink*wink*..peace!

confused?

Moses: Everything is law

Jesus: Everything is love

Marx: Everything is money

Freud: Everything is sex

Einstein: Everything is relative

this month, I’ve learned much about Buddha’s wisdom…his teachings are practical and wise…though there’s not much to like about the Chinese government (the toxic toys, what it’s doing to Tibet), I’d say, next to JESUS, Buddha  rocks! 

Strictly, Christian-Catholic pa rin ako! I mean really, one doesn’t have to switch religion to change one’s life. ME? I just adopt whatever  sensible and I mean, not just convenient new “learnings” I have encountered. It’s just a matter of perspective, and that is what I do, change that perspective if it has always been inefficient (though, people keep saying it works, STOP! Different folks, with different strokes, remember?). Filter everything that goes in your head! We just have to stay grounded and find our way through things in life as a better person. I know, you’d say – “that’s cliched.” BUT, really, enlightenment is a STRUGGLE to fight our own DEMONS. Whatever those demons are…:-)

 

 

May we all remain beautiful, inside and out – in spite of our daily struggles. May that beauty shine from within and hopefully, touch another life, not just a wishful thinking, to change it as well.

Sabi nga nila, ” BE WARY OF YOUR THOUGHTS, THEY SHAPE YOUR LIFE.”

 

 

 

That’s life, it’s never perfect.

 

 

 

 

PINOY Love

PINAY AKO!

Pinoy ako,
mahalin nyo man ang mapuputi,
maganda pa rin ang mga mala mochang kutis na,
tabihan man ng mga mestiza….
LUTANG ANG TUNAY NA GANDA!

ang mga katangiang masigasig, matulungin sa kapwa, matiisin, masipag, matiyaga, magalang sa matatanda, palakaibigan, masayahin….

IKAW? Anung katangiang PINOY ang pinagmamalaki mo?

 

butterflies…

“When it comes to relationships,

maybe we’re all in glass houses and shouldn’t throw stones.

Because you can never really know…

Some people are settling down, some people are settling,

and some people refuse to settle for anything less than Butterflies.” –Carrie Sex and the City

(To my Mr. Big… Now i understand to hold you i must open up my hands and watch you rise…)

(:

On beauty…on Gia….on Angie

If Gia had not been so gorgeous, her rage, drug addiction and unpredictability would not have been tolerated in any high paying profession let alone the fashion world. Her antics are usually saved until after one becomes famous, not right out of the gate, but then again Gia lived life fiercely raw, honest and fearless to a fault. Was Gia’s beauty ultimately a curse? Or would she had found herself along the same destructive path even if she had not become a supermodel?

I don’t know. But what I do know is when someone is so beautiful no one really cares to know what pain rages inside them because that would force us to look past the physical, and we live in a world that rarely values anything past the physical. Image still reigns supreme and as long as the photograph translates beauty the reality, for some, means little.

Written by Chaka V.

I first came across Angelina Jolie when I watched “Bone Collector” with my frat brods and soro sisters sometime in 1999. Like many others, who are fascinated by beauty…and raw beauty that is, of any gender…I became a fan. Then, a year later, I rented a CD of 1998 HBO bio pic Gia, starring no less, Angelina Jolie, based on the glamorous yet tragic life of one of the worlds first super models, Gia Marie Carangi. You have to see it yourself to understand Gia. Or anyone who are naive yet beautiful, brave yet vulnerable, and all sorts of contrasts that makes her beautiful though at times hated, misunderstood or envied.

I just watched the movie Gia again, and I suddenly wanted to find out about the real Gia Marie Carangi.This is what I found :

“Life and death, energy and peace, if i stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes, that I have made and would have unmade if I could.

The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it for having been allowed to walk where I’ve walked.

Which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it and above…”

Gia Marie Carangi  1960-1986

On Angelina Jolie, aside from the fact that I am a fan…after I have seen Gia in 2000, somehow, I was able to make a connection with her…I mean, I felt that I can relate to what she’s been through, both in the movies she’s made (particularly, Gia and Original sin, in some weird way, but not literally,  I have never been into drugs or had sex for money or had sex with random guys! hello?) and personal life. From bad girl rep (misunderstood) to single mom to finally doing things right….If you really knew me, you’d know why. hahaha.

We all evolve, from good to bad, from bad to good…and we never really lose ourselves…we only become better….in the process, whole…and in this wholeness do we find what is essential…finally finding the right path.

To our far from mediocre life! And making it right. Cheers!